As I was sitting in my cap and gown among the rest of my
classmates, listening to the speakers give us their congratulations and good
luck speeches I thought about what I have gained from my experience at college.
I thought about my first apartment and my roommates. I thought about trying to
work, do homework, and date.
I thought about getting married and moving into our first
apartment. I thought about all the jobs I have worked. I thought about the
classes, papers, test and projects. I thought about the years, 6 to be exact.
I thought about finding out I was pregnant and then having
Maddy. I thought about my first semester back after she was born and how hard
it was to leave her that first day. I thought about so many other things that
all came together to be my college experience.
I thought about things that not many people know. I thought
about how I failed some of my classes and got suspended from school. I had to
take a semester off. I thought about the fact that it didn’t happen only that
one time but three. I felt the struggle and embarrassment that I had at those
moments. I felt the pain and regret. The emotions that I wasn’t good enough
came flooding back.
I thought about my grades. I have some D’s, C’s, B’s and
very few A’s. There were many time that I barley scraped by. I didn’t graduate
in the top of my class; in fact I’m probably close to the bottom.
And after thinking of all of those things my mind shifted to
the lessons that I learned not necessarily taught in class.
First I learned to never give up. Even though I stumbled a
lot, and at times it seemed like I would never see the finish line I kept
getting up. I pushed through the feelings of doubt and uncertainty and just
kept going. It is worth it to push your way though to the end.
Don’t believe the little voice inside your head that is putting
you down. So many times I wanted to give in to that voice. At times I thought,
“This isn’t worth it,” or “Giving up will be so much easier.” But I didn’t. I
had friends and family that believed in me and helped me to shut out that voice
and keep working.
I learned that I have something to contribute. You will
always feel like there is always someone better that you, and there probably
is, but that doesn’t mean you don’t matter. I realized that with a little work
I had something to give. My talents mattered and I mattered.
Lastly I learned that my Heavenly Father never gives up on
me. Through all my trials and all my stupid unfortunate mistakes he never given
up on me. He was always there cheering me on. He knew I would make it. He is
proud of what I accomplished. It doesn’t matter to him if I got an A or a C. He
knows my heart and my value to Him is not measured by points.
I learned that I matter. You matter. What you do and who you
are matter.
College is hard. It is sucky and sometimes it seems like it
would be better if you just quit.
If you take one thing from this I would want it to be, no
matter what mistakes you have made or are going to make, don’t give up. Keep
going. You will make it. And when you do it will be worth it.
