Life Isn't What I Expected

This topic has been something that has been on my mind for a while. So I turned to my blog to get out some of my feelings and express realizations that I have had. I in no way mean to disregard any hardships or illness or trials that anyone may be dealing with. Life really is hard, but I believe that no matter what we go through there is always a silver lining. Happiness can be found no matter what.

Life usually turns out completely different than we expected it to turn out. At least that has been my experience. Sometimes that difference can be hard to accept. We may not have the job we thought, or the house, or our family relationships turned out different than expected. We may not have the best of friends or the social lives that we want. It's hard to accept that what we imagined and what we hoped our life would be like didn't happen. It can feel somewhat like we are a failure or that we didn't try hard enough or do enough. Even when we have these disappointments and potentially devastating experiences, we can still have a good life and find happiness.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf said,

"So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial. The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don’t really matter or determine our happiness. We do matter. We determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness."

There are people in our lives that make decisions that affect us every day. We don't have control over those decisions. From these decisions our lives are affected. It can be small things or large things that change. These decisions can change our relationships because we may not agree with what they have chosen. When the relationships in our lives don't turn out the way that we expected them to it can be hard to move on and find joy because of feelings of disappointment or despair. Sometimes it's not as important what another person does but how we react to what they have done.

We have control. It is ultimately our decision whether or not we are happy. It is our decision whether or not what someone else does rules our life.

President Thomas S. Monson said,

"So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment.

Charles Swindoll—author, educator, and Christian pastor—said: “Attitude, to me, is more important than … the past, … than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day."

When we choose to embrace a positive attitude, as hard as it can be sometimes to let go of expectations of what we wanted our lives to look like, we can realize that we really do have control. When we see the good in what we have and the parts of our relationship that we do appreciate we will be able to find more happiness and more joy. Our good life can start now. We don't have to wait on others to start having the life we imagined.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf said,

"We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it.^" Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it." 

Here are some simple things that I do when something isn't what I expected.

1. Tell Someone You Love Them.
Letting someone know that you care about them really helps to lift your spirits. It is a way to show gratitude. Being grateful for those in my life that I love really helps me to see the good that I have around me.

2. Keep a Blessing Journal.
Keeping a small thankful or blessing journal can help us to begin to have a positive outlook. Everyday write down one thing you were thankful for. A smile from a stranger. The nap you were able to take. The fact you have a roof over your head. Anything, small or large, can be a blessing to you. Test it out and see if your outlook becomes more positive.

3. Do Something That Makes You Happy.
If all else fails do something for yourself. Go get a smoothie, see a movie, or just turn on some music and dance. Taking a little time out to do something that you love can really turn around a sour mood. Just the other night I went out to get a couple groceries after Maddy had gone to bed. I still needed a little time to myself so I went and got one of my favorite fall treats, a pumpkin spice hot chocolate. I parked the car in a parking lot facing the temple and sipped my hot chocolate. Just that small, short little time to myself really helped me to feel like everything was ok.

Life is hard. Sometimes it sucks. People make choices we like. Then they make choices we don't. We disappoint ourselves and we mess up. It's life. But then there are moments, moments where everything is right. You look at your life and see that it is mostly good. The sun is shining, you are alive and the future is bright. I know for a fact my life is very little of what I imagined it would be but it is also much better than I expected it would be because it is mine. I'm living it right now. It's the only life that I have.

For some science-backed suggestions on what to do to be happy read this great article here.

I guess what this long rant was for was to say that no matter your circumstance you can find joy. Look around you. See what is good. Forgive, dance, express love and live a happy life.

What do you do when you get discouraged at what your life has turned out to be? How do you find joy right now? I would love to hear what you do to be happy.

References:
Dieter F. Uchtdorf talk: Of Regrets and Resolutions

President Thomas S. Monson talk: Living the Abundant Life

October Birthdays

October's are always my favorite. The air is getting colder, the leaves are changing colors, I can wear my scarves, and my favorite time of the year is right around the corner. In our family we have so many things to celebrate in October. It's my mom's birthday, my birthday, and Madelyn's birthday.

To start off the celebrations my mom and I celebrated together on her birthday. In our family we have the tradition of choosing the meal and desert for our birthday. I choose to have one of my favorite deserts, pumpkin pie and homemade whipped cream. There is nothing better to me than my mom's yummy pie! I could seriously eat a whole pie by myself (and I may have done it before). Everyone insisted that I put 26 candles on it. I was a little afraid of how many were on there.

Then on my actual birthday Landon first surprised me with a beautiful boquet of flowers. Then he surprised me and took me on a date. We went out to eat and then went to see a movie. We have really bad luck at being right on time for a movie and it being sold out so we wanted to make sure that we were able to get tickets. We got there about 30 min early and bought our tickets to Pan. We choose to see it in 3D so they gave us our glasses. While we waited we played the arcade games. I love to spend time with Landon and it really turned out to be a great birthday with him.

Madelyn's 2nd birthday was so much fun. We rented out the Clubhouse room at our complex so that we would have enough room for both of our families and our friends to come. I decided to make Maddy a teepee for her birthday. It was so worth all the miscalcuations that I made and had to fix to see her play in it. It is such a fun addition to her room. I also made her birthday shirt that she wore. It summed up her personality perfectly. It said "sweet & sassy".

Maddy loved her birthday and was showing off so much. She was dancing and playing and in the best mood. I loved simply celebrating her with all the people that love her so much.

Her favorite presents included her "Ana" (she can't say Elsa so she calls her Ana) pajamas, her Frozen "ride" from Aunt Missy, and her baby and her baby's bottle from Grandma Young. She is so animated and loves to take care of her baby.

I'm always sad when October is over but I guess we are all just another year older and wiser.

Fall Family Photos 2015

My heart is so full after this weekend. I was able to listen to LDS General Conference with my family and feel of my Heavenly Fathers love for me as a daughter, a wife, and a mother. You can listen to the conference here.

On of my favorite quotes comes from President Uchtdorf's talk during the General Women's meeting.
"God didn't design us to be sad. He created us to have joy!"

 My joy is my family. Rebekah was able to take some quick family pictures for us on Saturday afternoon. I can't wait to print some out to hang in our home and remind us how special it is for us to be a family.

I am grateful to be a mother and that I am able to see Maddy grow in mind and body everyday.

Weekly Review: Sept 27- Oct 3 2015

Here is what happened this week in pictures and videos.

I was able to attend the Women's General meeting of the LDS General Conference with my mom, sister and grandmother. We had a great time learning and receiving council from our leaders. You can listen to it here. 

 

Maddy has been being so cute while playing with her dolls and giving them their bottle and bathing them in bowls. She decided that she needed to bathe herself in the bowl. It was so fun and cute to watch.

 

With all the rain on Friday I decided to wear my rain boots. Maddy loves to put our shoes on and my rain boots were no exception. They were as long as her legs and she couldn't walk with them on. 

Maddy loves to play. Here is a video of her playing with Rebekah.

If It Is To Be...

2 years ago seems like a whole lifetime. I've made countless decisions since that day. I decided to cut my hair, a couple times. I decided to go to church, and sometimes not to go to church. I decided to move, 4 times, with my family. I helped Landon make big decisions with work and school. I decided to hang out with friends, spend time with family, play with Maddy and eat a lot of ice cream. We make so many decisions everyday and what do they matter?

2 years ago my dad, who is so smart and loving, gave a devotional address at BYU-Idaho. I was able to be there and listen to his wise counsel.

I decided (see lots of decisions) to watch his talk again today and it got me. It got me good. I couldn't stop thinking about all the decisions I have been making. Some good and some not as good. What do they matter? What does it matter if I decide to decline that phone call from a friend. What does it matter if I put off the dishes to watch some television? What does it matter if I don't plan dinner? Do those thing really all matter?

I think that they do.

Life is made up of all the little decisions that we make on a daily basis. Decisions like making dinner, calling your mom, opening the door for someone, and being honest.

President Thomas S. Monson said,

"You may ask, “Are decisions really that important?” I say to you, decisions determine destiny. You can’t make eternal decisions without eternal consequences. May I provide a simple formula by which you can measure the choices which confront you. It’s easy to remember: “You can’t be right by doing wrong; you can’t be wrong by doing right.” Your personal conscience always warns you as a friend before it punishes you as a judge."

As I look at my life, at where I am, where I have come from I can see that I am the sum of all my decisions. But does that mean that I am destined to be on this path that I have created? No, we are not stuck where we are because the decisions that we make today will determine where we will go tomorrow.

"The choices you make each day from small and simple to large and complicated will have lasting, even eternal consequences. The path our life takes is not determined by great and grand decisions but rather by the little day-to-day choices we make." Alan K. Young

Making decisions can be hard. Someitme we take time, effort and advice as we make big decisions. Other times we don't think very far into the future as we make decisions. I know that I am going to be making decisions based on where I want to be in the future rather than where I am here in the present.

What do you do to help you make decisions that will positively effect your life?

I'm grateful for the decisions that brought me this life, my family and my friends. I hope to continue to make decisions that bring happiness and joy to those around me.

To watch the full address click here. 

What I Learned

In my time attending college I wrote quite a few papers entitled “What I have learned” but perhaps this will be the most significant one I have written

As I was sitting in my cap and gown among the rest of my classmates, listening to the speakers give us their congratulations and good luck speeches I thought about what I have gained from my experience at college. I thought about my first apartment and my roommates. I thought about trying to work, do homework, and date.

I thought about getting married and moving into our first apartment. I thought about all the jobs I have worked. I thought about the classes, papers, test and projects. I thought about the years, 6 to be exact.

I thought about finding out I was pregnant and then having Maddy. I thought about my first semester back after she was born and how hard it was to leave her that first day. I thought about so many other things that all came together to be my college experience.

I thought about things that not many people know. I thought about how I failed some of my classes and got suspended from school. I had to take a semester off. I thought about the fact that it didn’t happen only that one time but three. I felt the struggle and embarrassment that I had at those moments. I felt the pain and regret. The emotions that I wasn’t good enough came flooding back.

I thought about my grades. I have some D’s, C’s, B’s and very few A’s. There were many time that I barley scraped by. I didn’t graduate in the top of my class; in fact I’m probably close to the bottom.

And after thinking of all of those things my mind shifted to the lessons that I learned not necessarily taught in class.

First I learned to never give up. Even though I stumbled a lot, and at times it seemed like I would never see the finish line I kept getting up. I pushed through the feelings of doubt and uncertainty and just kept going. It is worth it to push your way though to the end.

Don’t believe the little voice inside your head that is putting you down. So many times I wanted to give in to that voice. At times I thought, “This isn’t worth it,” or “Giving up will be so much easier.” But I didn’t. I had friends and family that believed in me and helped me to shut out that voice and keep working.

 I learned that I have something to contribute. You will always feel like there is always someone better that you, and there probably is, but that doesn’t mean you don’t matter. I realized that with a little work I had something to give. My talents mattered and I mattered.

Lastly I learned that my Heavenly Father never gives up on me. Through all my trials and all my stupid unfortunate mistakes he never given up on me. He was always there cheering me on. He knew I would make it. He is proud of what I accomplished. It doesn’t matter to him if I got an A or a C. He knows my heart and my value to Him is not measured by points.

I learned that I matter. You matter. What you do and who you are matter.

College is hard. It is sucky and sometimes it seems like it would be better if you just quit.

If you take one thing from this I would want it to be, no matter what mistakes you have made or are going to make, don’t give up. Keep going. You will make it. And when you do it will be worth it. 

Fun in the Sun

It feels like summer is half way gone and we haven't even done anything fun yet. The weather finally cooperated and Maddy and I were able to go swimming with my family yesterday. 

We went up to Heise Hot Springs to cool off in the pool. Maddy wasn't sure at first if she liked the water. I think it was cold and she just needed to get use to the water first. Once she was use to it she was splashing and laughing and having a great time. 

Camille, Emily, and Ari Burden also came up to have some fun with us. Maddy liked having an audience to show off too and loved all the attention she was getting. 

It was a wonderful day and I am so grateful for family so close to be able to spend time with.